Pressured to Pray

Last Saturday I celebrated my 9th wedding anniversary with my boo.  Usually we take a trip to celebrate our love out of town but this year it was not an option because my best friend Brion (BFB) got married on our special date (weird coincident).

Ever since BFB told me the wedding date I bitched at him about how he fucked up my vacation plan & that he owes me.  And he always basically said fuck you & you better be there (of course).

So anyway, the big day was last week & I was one of the groomsmen, which was interesting experience a) because I had not worn a tux since high school b) the wedding was large, which made me nervous even in my small role c) if I started to cry with joy everyone would see me.

Just before 515pm last Saturday, the pastor walked into the room with us guys to escort us out.  Before we walked out he asked that we all join hands for a prayer.

At this point, I was like ummmmmmm. & I just sat right were I was seated.  As the guys formed a prayer circle, everyone looked at me & was like come on.  I explained that I was not going to participate & another guy said what, I said I am an Atheist & I would not.  Then the same guy was like, you can’t make an exception for your boy, totally putting me on front street.

To take the drama out of the room & the spot light off of me, I stood up walked over, joined hands to complete the uncomfortable prayer circle.

After it was over, I got my mind right so that I could focus on standing in front of 300+ people during the exchange of vows between my friends.

Fast forward, it is now 1130pm & BFB, Suite Suzy & I were talking at the reception about me being pressured into praying.  Suite Suzy said I should have got off my ass and at least pretended.  BFB co-signed & said that I should have as well, then he said he just bowed his head & went along with the program despite his feelings. 

I also shared this story with my friend Zana days later & she sided with BFB & Suite Suzy & said when in Rome, do as the Romans or stay the fuck out.  She also looked at me & had that oh no you didn’t look, which was funny.

Basically BFB was not tripping on me & knew were I was coming from & he knows where my heart is.  I mean, we have been friends for 24 years, why would I do anything just to fuck him up???

Last Sunday on the drive home, I thought more about the church incident & was questioned why Christians (not all but many) like running guilt trips on others that do not see things the way they do.  And I also pondered, why fake a prayer in the circle of believers, wouldn’t my disbelief cancel some of that shit out???

Then I thought, what if I practiced Santeria and had that same guy at a religious gathering on my turf & we were about to sacrifice a chicken & I ran the same game on him that he ran on me.  Would he help in the murder of the said chicken to be there for his boy?  I think not.

This incident & a few others helped to solidify my belief that Christianity is a religion based on guilt, intolerance & mental domination.  If you want to argue me on this point, I can quote scripture that back my points up, so go there if you dare.  I grew up in the church so I am equipped to fight, although I prefer not to.

When I look at other regions, I do not see the as much of the things that turn me off about Christianity.  Ultimately, I respect all who respect my & my beliefs or lack there of.  I do not run around trying to convert people etc so don’t fuck with my by trying to force your practices, beliefs & systems on me.

Live & let live & do what’s best for you & I will do me.

I Quit This Bitch!

Yesterday before my stats class, I had a deep conversation with myself about the reality of me passing this class.  I have been working hard to get through but at the same time I have not been able to focus fully like I should or wanted to.  So during the conversation, I stopped in Wholefoods for my expensive cherries & some two-bite brownies to decrease my level of stress.

So I check out mid self-conversation & realized that I just spent 12 bucks on cherries but that was the least of my worries because I had a stats test in 30 minutes.

It’s now 6pm & I scroll into the class room after enjoying 4 brownies & 8 cherries thinking this test is going to be a bitch.

25 minutes later, the test is over & I have a major headache.  At this point, I said to myself, it’s time to drop this bitch.

After class, I had 4 more brownies to help get my mind right & I called Suite Suzy & BFB to abut my decision to drop.  Suite Suzy said to drop & refocus in the fall or winter semester & she will help me get through it.  BRB was like don’t give up but maybe you need to but don’t do it before talking to the instructor.

On the drive home I spotted some musk thistle in full bloom & pulled over to capture the moment.  For the 10 minutes that I photographed the flowers, I forgot all about my troubles.  So I guess photography is my drug of choice, because it took me away from my reality momentarily.

It’s now 1215am & I decided to email the instructor with my thoughts on dropping.  He got back with me in the am & was like you need to drop.  So I email back & asked if it was conceivable that I could at least get a C.  He responded back with, are you serious?  Um, you got a 50.4 on the mid term & did even worse on the last test.

So tomorrow will be the beginning of the end when I officially go to him to have my drop slip signed.

I am bittersweet about it because, since I went back to school as an adult, I have done well in all of my classes.  On the other hand, I have so many things that I can & need to get done with the time I have on my hands.

One of my projects includes submitting 10 photos to Getty Images to be proofed so that I can become a stock contributor.  I applied last week & passed the little tests, now I just need to have the quality of my images reviewed.  I am excited about the process but at the same time afraid.

Another project is to clean my garage.  It has not been the same since Suit Suzy had that garage sale 2 years ago.

HillBillies

Hillary Clinton's hard working American base is fucked up.  I know now all Whites are not racist but there are a hell of a lot of them & I think we will see that come out as Barack Obama makes his way towards 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

I saw this video on Jovan Miles' blog & was not shocked, or freaked out.  I was & am just like, damn, what we's gone do about these HillBillies that ain't got no teeth, poor as hell, uneducated, obviously do not read or watch the news to know who policy makers are & don't mind fucking a sheep or cousin here or there.

I am so happy that I do not live in those southern towns where these type people breath & hold their head up high like they are the most precious thing under the sun.

I'm surprised that no one yelled out "white power" or "I likes coloreds but they all just some shady coons".

White men have been fucking this country up from jump.  What makes people think that one day a white man will get it right?

What we's gone do???

The Search is Over

I finally found the perfect jeans & stocked up with 4 pair.

Since I lost & am losing weight bit by bit, I had to refresh my jeans collection.

I discovered the Levi 569 Loose/Straight fit & hunted like hell at local stores to find a 30 length. The search was rough & I only found one pair.

So today I took the search online & found them at Macy's for 31.99 on sale & purchased 3 pair (different colors). Later I found them online through another retailer 2 bucks cheaper.

The sad thing about my search was that neither Levi store nor their online shop had my size. I guess they think juicy brothas don't shop with them.

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Recent Jean Reflections
My last claim for the perfect jean was Old Navy's Boot Cut fit but I guess they are not making them anymore, so I guess the ones I have now are in their last days of me wearing them.

Jeans Before I Turned 22
Back in the day, I would only wear designer jeans & pay all kinds of money but now that I’m no longer a brand whore, I save a lot of money. It's funny how something so simple such as buying jeans can turn into a major ordeal!

- Girbaud jeans Skinny Coybow & Brand X fits used to be my die-hard favorites jeans. I really thought I was sexy in this one pair of Skinny Cowboys, I was about 18 at the time. This girl who kinda looked funny used to tell me that my booty looked cut in them.

- Guess Pascal used to make me feel like I was a sophisticated brotha especially when I wore them with a shirt & tie. Guess no longer makes the Pascal fit & it is such a shame. The shit they put out now is way too flash. Oh wait, I remember when I was in the 10th grade & got me a Guess short overall, which was a ghetto must have.

- I thought I was all that when I got me a Used Jeans. I actually had one used outfit & it was in the lay-a-way for a month in a half. I made payments on it when I got my little Wendy's check. One day I came home from school early & caught my mom in my Used jeans outfit & was pissed off & from that point it was hers. People could not know that my momma & I wore the same damn clothes. Looking back it was really funny because when I walked in the house, she had it on with a pair of high heels with her legs crossed smoking on a Benson & Hedges cigarette.

- Oh & I was really all that when I got me 2 Damaged Jeans outfits as a gift from my mom. I made sure that she did not wear those.

- Jeans I really wanted way back when were some Cross Colors & some Karl Kani's. I was so jealous of many of my friends who had these, including Cousin Dee. Although I made my own money & purchase many of my own clothes, my mom threatened to beat me down if I can in her house with some pimp pants.
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Is you got you some blue jean tales???

Diamond in the Back

My weekend ended on an expensive note & I am not happy about it at all but life is moving on.  Yesterday on the way to Detroit, I was driving down the freeway when my passenger side tire blew out.  The drama was so ironic because the blow out happened right after I passed the giant Uniroyal Tire on I-94.  This was the last thing I needed because I did not want to put any money into this vehicle as I wait for my new one to show up.

Once I got off the freeway, I contacted AAA & 30 minutes later a former member of ZZ Top showed up to change my tire.  He was cool but all I could think of was the song “Legs”.  After he got the tire off & popped it in my trunk I noticed that my rim was bent & I knew I was really about to come out the pocket!

The evening in Detroit was so/so because I was kinda down about the tire  & that was compounded by the fact that I went to a concert & the act was not paid & walked out before she performed.  Can you say only in Detroit! People were demanding refunds but the promoter got the hell out of dodge before shit jumped off.  Luckily, I got in free cuz, I was already in the mood to beat some ass over my tire & rim.

Flash Forward:::::  This Am, I show up at the tire place to spend as less money as possible.  I decided to get 2 new tires to balance shit out but the guy was like you need 4 & with the quickness. I was like hell no & fuck that, give me 2 & your lucky I did not just ask for the one (that would have been very ghetto).

After some price haggling I spent a little over 3 bills & winded up not needed a new rim (YES)!  That Prius needs to hurry the fuck up & get here before something else goes wrong!

Everyone Knows!!!

Bygbaby Potpourri

I was hoping to be up in my new Prius by now but I ain’t.  They were premature telling me that my shit would be in this week big time!!!  So now I am on hold until the end of April because that bitch is coming straight from Japan.  They had other colors available but I do not want to settle & be unhappy.  So I have 4 weeks of high gas prices in my future.

Will winter hurry the fuck up & leave so that spring can march in!  I am so ready to see my spring plants.

Why are there no good movies out.  I am starved to see a good mutha fuckin’ movie.  Oh well, maybe I will go ahead & break down to see “Meet the Browns”.  I think it will be good but I am not really in the mood for a Negro cliché flick.

I took a couple days off work to hang with my kids during their spring break & we are doing nothing in particular & that is just fine.  Tomorrow, we will be doing some food experiments.  We plan on making a tea made with star anise, ginger, cinnamon & honey.  Hopefully it is not nasty because they will never let me live it down.  Then we are making a some smoked salmon with ginger-scallion cream cheese on wasabi cracker appetizers.  The kids don’t like the crackers (I don’t understand why) but it will be fun experimenting.  Stay tuned for photos even is all is gross, I will try to make it look good at least LOL!!!

Next week, I have my 3rd math test & I am feeling so/so about it but I know that I have to make it happen to not diminish the power of my come back!

Also next week, I will also be in Orlando for the Photoshop World Conference & I am really looking forward to being surrounded by other design professionals & photographers who share a passion for the program that I live & breath!

Next week, One mo gin; I may have the opportunity to photograph Andre J (The bearded Drag Queen).  Fingers are crosses so stay tuned for details.

Kwame Kilpatrick is still a bitch who’s running around asking for people to donate to his legal defense fund & apparently people are lining up to do so.  It is so like a nigga to take up a collection… Luckily someone called him out on his antics with a high profile in Detroit.

Supposedly, Detroit business professionals, religious leaders & politicians are ponying up to help out their boy.  Shit, what’s gonna happen next???

Detroiters are once again supporting a pimp but why come is they leaving his hoe (I feel bad about calling Christine Beatty a hoe but she is & so is Kwame, but he is worse because he is a hoe as bitch!).  No one is doing a lega denfense fund for her ass.  Just another whe she needs to drop the bomb on this whole case

My boo is picking up Erykah Badu concerts tix tomorrow & I am geeked.  She is coming to Detroit with the Roots so I know the show will be extra live!!!

NY’s, I will be up in that bitch June 17-20th & would love to do a meet & greet over Negro fixin’s

Why is it that no one really knows if we are in a recession or not?  With all the brain power in DC & on Wall Street, why can’t them white folks just tell us what’s really going on???

Why is Hillary Clinton such a lying ass bitch?!?! If you were shot at or surrounded by gun fire, don't you think you would remember that shit with vivid details??? Another reason not to trust her ass. The Hill & Bill need to have their ghetto card priveledges revoked forever. They are not a friend to Negro folk & that has been proven time & time again. It is so funny to see her pale face & baggy eyes try to defelect her blatant lies while trying to call Obama out on JW. Give it up you lyin' ass beoooooooooooooooootch!

That’s All

Rain Drops: When it Rains it Pours

My post title is inspired by Maysa Leak’s "Rain Drops” from her self titled debut "Maysa" 1995.

“I feel alright
As long as the sun is bright
Soon as the clouds come rolling by
Big tears form in my eyes

Can't explain
How I feel when the sky is grey
I sit alone and I just pray
For a sunny day

Rain drops keep falling down
Your voice keeps calling me
Such a familiar sound
Those rainy nights keep haunting me”

I was not going to post this but I loved how it finished up. I mentioned before that I am really inspired by the rain and how could I not be when it looks this good. As a gardener, rain is my friend.

OK, I know I said I would stop posting about politics/poli tricks, but I am finding it hard not to do so. Since I do not go to a barber shop or salon anymore, I do not have an outlet to discuss such things with other Negro folk in real life so I have been depending on my blog for that missing discourse.

Speaking of rain drops, when it rains it pours for my boy Barack Obama. Before I jump off; I do not why people do not know if he is a Christian or not. Can they not read, do they not watch the news and how are they making decisions to vote or not to vote for whoever if they are not educating themselves with basic information.

Wait before I get to Barack, let me visit NY's David Patterson 1st. Why is the media obsessed with who is fucking who??? When I got to work today I almost spit out my cranberry juice when I read “N.Y. governor: State employee among my several affairs” on CNN.com. Why is that relevant? And what tripped me out is that him and his wife was getting their creep on. Things must have been really fucked up! Anyway after reading the article and a few more on the same subject, I joked to myself that he may be blind but he can definitely find some pussy!

Back to my point: I know you heard snippets or read about Barack’s riveting speech today. I must admit that I almost teared up a bit. He really put it down! His critics may talk about all he is speeches, but when you can be so inspired by words, then you are showing power, knowledge and experience.

"I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community," "I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother - a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe."

Barack Obama 2008

The big thing now is to see how his words will play out in the polls in 5 weeks. Will he be able to capture the white man’s vote???

Can you really help who you know. Should I disown a cousin who burned down her girlfriend’s house, who is also linked to prostitution and drugs? Should I disown my uncle who murdered like 8 people? We know who we know but that does not make up or character, intentions or personal ideology.

That’s all!

Poli-Tricks +

This week has been a damn trip on a political note big time. I have been so into what’s been going on that I was lost on what to write about so this post will be a little schizophrenic. Before I get into the recap jump off, I want to tell you that your boy has lost a total of 22lbs to date!!!

My pockets are finally starting to stick out more than my belly & my man tits have drop a whole size & they no longer hit me in the face when I am on the elliptical machine.
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• OK so I tripped the fuck out when I heard about NY gov former NY gov Spitzer quit his damn job after getting caught up in a prostitution ring. I really did not give a fuck if he quit or not, but I think he did the right thing & without a big to do. What really tripped me out was how much money he spent on pussy. 80K is a lot of damn money!!! The one question on my mind was how good is a piece of 4k pussy, what does that shit feel like, what does it taste like (tropical punch skittles perhaps???), is it gold plated, does it talk & better yet, can you only hit it once or do you have to pay again after you bust that 1st nut? Well, I guess I had more than one question.
  
  So the mutha fucka quit but now everyone is focusing on the poor victim/pussy giver upper Kristen or whatever the fuck her name is. I think it’s great that the media & others are embracing her plight as a high price call girl with a troubled past. I wonder what her rates are now??? And will somebody call the Church Lady for her lost ass, she needs guidance! side note: Church Lady (Rocco Late Night Mix) by Dennis Ferrer is one of my favorite work out jams (link is a free download).
  

• On a similar note, Detroit playa Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is still refusing to give up his job citing that GOD appointed his bitch ass. What kinda GOD is that???
  
  He has been caught up in a ghetto fabulous pussy based scandal for weeks & he still refuses to leave office. OK, so this mutha fucka perjured himself on the witness stand while on trial, is caught up in one of the countries hottest text messaging scandal ever which indicates that he gave city contracts to friends, fired veteran officers who were investigating the party he threw when the stripper that was setting him off got her ass beat by his wife with a bat and so much other shit.
  
  Most recently, he acted like a total fool during his state of the city address this past week. He called people out, used his wife & kids as a way to deflect from his misdeeds, called the local media a lynch mob in additions to saying Nigga while on a live broadcast. Has he lost his damn mind???
  
  His arrogance is really an insult to the fools that put him back in office. The only way I see him leaving office is in a body bag because someone will have to take his big ass out (not me nor do I advocate violence to those who have a thug like mentally). Kwame is straight up a sociopath & a US based Idi Amin/Charles Taylor but with less genocide, little to no cannibalism.
  

• The Democratic presidential race is getting on my damn nerves. Yes Barack won MS! But why is that fact over shadowed by the fact that he won because of the Black vote? Barack is not a fool & knows that Negroes heading to the poles will not get him in office solely. One thing I know is that he needs to step his game up because Billary is ready to take a bite out of that ass.
  
  It is sad that I think Barack needs to get dirty to keep up with Billary’s race baiting backbiting game. That camp is not fucking around & willing to sacrifice all left lung to get back in the Whitehouse. After the Geraldine Ferraro comments & defense this week, it was clear to me that the Billary campaign is drenching with institutional racism down to the core. And that apology to Black church leaders in PA & Ferraro leaving at the end of the week was too little too late in my book.
  
  A while back I said if Billary got the nomination that I was not going to vote in Nov 08. That since has changed because I like McCain’s old turkey neck, barracuda toothed ass a lot better. Billary has totally lost me! I cannot believe Billary had the nerve to say that she wants Barack to be her bitch VP, and I like what Barack said: when you are a LOSER, how can you someone beating you ass to take a 2nd seat (Byg-paraphrase). In his strong “denouncement” of her schizophrenic passive-aggressive statement, it would have been so perfect his he ended with Bitch are you crazy!
  
  Lastly, Barack, your religious affiliations are fucking you up! Your pastor says some good shit & I agree with a lot of it but white America is not ready for that boo. You should have been a Buddhist instead.

• MI & FL, give it up! Rules are rules & you broke them. A redo should not be on the table & the fools that decided to vote should have keep their non in the know asses at home. The DNC said many months ago that the votes would not count. Why are people tripping??? I think the millions of dollars that it will/would take to re-do a primary can go into some community based programs, the educational system, public safety, foreclosure prevention or something that will actually benefit people.
  
  
• Why did them niggas in SC kill that white girl??? As soon as I saw the photo of the suspect, I threw up in my mouth & was like damn, that chicken still tastes good & then was like WHYYYYYYY they had to be Black??? Can you say race relations set back! You just can’t be killing white womens’. The entire nation gets evolved in that shit & will hunt a mutha fucka down. But for real, it was fuck up that they killed her. Was it that deep for a few bucks? Now they will be in prison for life getting their young asses blew out OZ style.
  
  And how many minority women disappeared this week & were killed? Why do we have to ask this question??? The disparities are enough to make a nigga go crazy.
  

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I think this is all that I had on my mind for the past few days.

2008 NAIAS Charity Preview Thoughts

I will post a link to my photos in comments when they go online.

Upgrade Me

A few weeks ago, I got the kids a new iMac so that I could keep them off my shit and out of my office. I had been planning the purchase for a while and they knew it and was excited about it. Their excitement only grew after I took them to the Apple store to have a look at it.

So, since I work for a university, I can get a decent educational rate on computers and I mos def took advantage of this to save myself like 400 bucks for their 20’ iMac. While I was making their purchase, I decided to by the new Mac “Leopard” operating system to install on my Macbook Pro, which was priced pretty low.

At the time of purchase, I was way to busy to slow down to upgrade my Macbook Pro, so I decided to hold off on this until school was out. Well since the semester is over and time is more abundant, last night I decided to make that upgrade happen.

I started the process around 10pm and it finished close to like 12 or so I thought. After waiting for 2 hours plus, the install turned out to be a total flop, and my laptop was dead. I tried restarting it but nothing worked. I then hopped on my desktop (PC) to see what the issue could be and I found some help files on the Apple support site, which I tried.

The Apple support site detailed 3 options and I tried them all but to no avail. I then called tech support only to find out that they were closed for the night, but would be back open at 9am. At this point it was 130am, and I was tired as hell, so I hit the sack.

I woke up 1st thing this morning, washed my ass, brushed my teeth, dropped the girls off @ school, and got to work @ 9 and the first thing on my mind was calling tech support to get my issue resolved.

It’s now 915am and I am on hold for a representative. After being on hold for 10 minutes, “Nate” comes on the line, asking me my name and serial number. I gave him my info, then he asked what my problem was and I quickly gave him the rundown.

He then asked me to do some shit that I already tried, such as removing the battery, hitting buttons, and some other shit. I was like I already did this, what else can be done to resolve this issue. He then told me to “Google a solution”. To that I said “excuse me, is this Apple tech support?” He was like yeah, then I was like then “what the hell are you asking me to Google for, what did I pay your ass to do. I need a solution!” He was like, there is nothing that I can do and “I suggest that you Google for a solution or go the nearest Apple store and visit the ‘Genius Bar’.” I then said, “you know what, you are a stupid non-helpful ass bitch”, then I slammed that damn phone in his bitch ass face. (Yes I did!!!)

When he told me to Google, I just fucking almost, no I did lose it. Talk about fucked up customer service.

In general, I hate calling tech support because you always either get an (east) Indian call center and talk to an Indian man named “Jim” with marginal to poor English (WTF) or you get a call center in the US staffed with stupid ass people like Nate’s dumb ass.

So after I got my mind back right, I went online and made myself a 545pm appointment at the “Genius Bar” at my local mall. I was kinda nervous about the appointment because last time I was there, I had to snap on this dumb fuck assisting me when my iPhone was acting up.

It’s now 503pm and I just left my Brotherlock retightening appointment and I am speeding to get to the mall so that I could get this fucking laptop straight. I made it to the appointment by the hair on my nose and when I walked up, they called my name. And just as my luck would have it, I got the same guy that I went off on a few weeks ago, so in the back of my mind, I was like, all shit, here we go……………

As I step up to the corner, I pull my laptop out of my beat up Coach messenger bag and told “Toby” by problem. He was like, oh I bet it is a quick fix. He then hooked it up to some shit and he told me that I should be all set in 20 minutes. This made me feel so much better and I used those 20 minutes to pick up Suite Suzy’s birthday gift (I’m a quick shopper). The gift I got her will really surprise her and I know she will love it. In fact I think it will be her best friend.

After my mini shopping spree, I headed back to the Apple store to get my baby back. Toby looked at me, smiled and told me that I was all set! I put my baby back in the beat up Coach messenger bag and hit the road headed home.

So far I am digging the new OS and I like the interface, I just hate that I had to go through so much drama.

BTW, I got my grade for my ENG comp class and got an A-! I was a little down about the - it is better than a B+.

These Broken Wings

Recently, I started to collect little designer vinyl toys (I’m sure you noticed). I tend to run collect lot of things but since I was in high school, I have collected small Black angles. Some favorites in my collection are designed by Thomas & Ami Blackshear, but I have one Angel named Moxy by a designer unknown to me (the store did not have a box or designer information when I purchased him) that I have had since 1994 & he has always been on my nightstand watching over me.

About 8 years ago, I accidentally knocked him over & he went crashing to the ground. Luckily, his body stayed in tact but his wings were broken in 2 places. The breaks were pretty clean so I was able to piece him back together & once I did, he became much more precious to me.

When Suite Suzy & I started dating, she found a really cute chair for Moxy to sit in & it was so perfect. Although the chair was perfect, I had to be careful to make sure that he did not fall off. Looking back, I should have put some double-sided sticky tape so that he was temporarily more stationary.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, Suite Suzy was fighting Amelia as she was throwing one of her terrible two tantrums & in the midst of the battle between mother & baby, Moxy’s chair was accidentally knocked over & he went crashing to the ground once more.

I was downstairs when it happed & as soon as I heard the crash, I shouted out, I hope that is not Moxy!!!!!!!!!! Olivia quickly shouted out yessssssssssssss. My heart sank as I rushed up the stairs to see my precious angle shattered once more.

Luckily, the breaks are the same as before but for some reason, I am reluctant to piece him back together. Since he’s been broken, he has been hanging out on the kitchen island, waiting for me to make up my mind.

I really don’t know what to do, but I know I miss waking up & seeing him looking peacefully up at me.

Almost Mutha Fuckin Done

As I sit here & type this post, I'm on my 2nd glass of Rangpur Tangueray & tonic dreaming about the last day of class, which is 2 weeks away. I am so sick of typing paper after paper I could say hot dick & nuts to my momma! Finally I am down to one last research paper that I have to present 12/12/07. My lazy ass is always one step behind (this class is really tapping into my social life!) & I just started last paper yesterday & actually got all of my research out of the way so I am happy about that. Now I just need to put the shit to work!

Anyway, my last project is on mandatory drug sentencing & now that I have my information together I am excited about writing it. While reading I found out some shit that tripped me out; I guess that what research is all about…

Anyway Bygbaby is all typed out & after these last few sips of my “new favorite drink” I am out of this bitch.

My Man Tits & My Precious

Last Thursday I finally broke down & got a membership at my local Powerhouse gym. Over the last 2 months I was debating on if I was going to join because I was not sure that I would be disciplined enough to accomplish a weight loss goal.

I guess looking in the mirror at my little man tits gave me motivation to drop 460 bucks to drop some pounds. Suite Suzy calls them stage 1 tits.

It has been less than a week & I am already feeling the positive benefits of working out. My energy level has increased, I have noticed a more positive mood & best of all, I have dropped 3 pounds already.

My routine consists of doing 11 circuit weight machines then rounding out with 20 minutes on an elliptical machine, which takes me about 1½ hours. And let me tell you, I have mos def been feeling the burn! I think in the next few weeks I will be use to the feeling & my muscles will be less sore.

So now that my good news is out, it is time for the bad.

• I am drinking much more water & now I am peeing all the damn time.
• When I work out, I fart almost out of control. Luckily there is a lot of noise & blowing air. I hope no one finds me out.
• I LOST MY WEDDING RING @ THE GYM!!! Yes, I lost it yesterday & I am totally devastated. I took it off placed it in my gym bag then locked it up. This morning when I checked my bag for it, it was nowhere to be found. I called the gym & no one turned it in & this evening when I went to work out, I asked again & still nothing.

Now I have to decide if I am going to file a claim to get a new ring or just go without. This is actually the 2nd ring that I have lost s I am like over replacing rings. The first time, it slipped off my finger when I fell up (yes I fell up) some stairs at work in a parking garage. After searching for it for 2 hours under cars, behind tires & up & down the stair well with Suite Suzy, we called off the mission.

Anyway, I will make periodic updates on my gym status so stay tuned for a less byg bygbaby.

Almost Lost

Last night, I planted myself on the couch, popped open my laptop & inserted my memory card to go through the photos from the party that I covered Saturday (11/03/07) night. I also planned on processing photos that I took while out & about Sunday (11/04/07).

Things were going smooth until I opened up Photoshop & noticed that all of my photos were missing.

At this point I started to shit a brick because I had a lot of damn images; like 200 & some change + if I could not produce photos from the party, I would not be getting paid.

After my panic was over, I collected myself & went into my home office to try the memory card on my desktop.

So now I am at my desk & looking at an empty card with unreadable files. WTF could have happened??????

Again, after my panic was over, I collected myself & went online to see if I could do something to get my photos back. While Googling, I found several memory card recovery options, but guess what, none were free (shit!).

So I download one on a trial basis & it did not work, which made me lose my mind. I go back to Google for another option & found something & gave it a try.

Five minutes later, it was looking like I my images were actually recoverable after 5 showed up. Well after the 5 images showed up, I got a message saying, if you want more, register this software now.

Three minutes & $19.95 later, I had the full version of Zero Assumption Recovery software. Ten minutes after that, all of my images were back & my blood pressure went back down.

From this, I learned that I need to format my memory card every time after I take off my most recent photos. From my reading this will help prevent problems like this. Now that I have this software, I guess I feel more secure should this happen one mo gin.

Here is one of my newly recovered images; a still life that I hooked up yesterday afternoon in the kitchen.

Sunday Night Thought

Am I boring you yet with my photography & bullshit stories? I hope not because at least 8543 tuned in for the month of Sept (I'm sure the Concrete Loop quadrupled that)! If you have been reading for a while, you know I got burned out dealing with all of the shit that has been going on around us. I have found that photography is a great escape for me & it gives me a new perspective on life.

It's so crazy how looking through a tiny window takes me to another place.

What do you do when you need to escape life & all of its drama?

In case you are wondering what this is a picture of, it is the flower of a Celosia Argenta plant.

Do As I say, Not As I Do

So in my “Apple iPhone: Maybe it’s Just Me But…” I talked about the racial challenges I observed (some said imagined) in Apple’s advertising campaign for the iPhone & pretty much decided not to get one.

Getting an iPhone was really not going to happen after I purchased my Nikon D40 (which is now on sale on eBay because I get a bigger better camera; the Nikon D80). I have really been blowing my personal budgets!

So anyway, last Wednesday Apple announced the new iPod Touch which looks so fucking awesome & it has some of the same features of the iPhone. The price was Negro friendly at 399.00 so I was like fuck it, when it comes out I am going to get it, especially seeing that I did not have to change/update my AT&T contract.

After I read a few more blogs, I read more Apple updates & specifically speaking, the new lower priced iPhone (OMG). Initially I was like what Negro is going to spend 599.00 for a damn phone, shit that is just too out of the box. Now the iPhone is very friendly for the Negro budget @ just 399.00 for the 8GB model.

Wednesday afternoon I called Cousin Dee to talk about this juicy tech tidbit & after some seriously intense conversation about what I should do, I had decided to just get the new iPod touch. I decided on the iPod Touch because I could really use all of the other features, such as contacts & calendar, I am a PDA slave (I currently have a Dell Axim X30, which is now on eBay). Later in the day I flipped the script & decided to go with the iPhone then called AT&T to find out about the plans. I winded up talking to some woman who really turned me off & made me say fuck it (again).

Once I got home from class, the new iPhone/iPod Touch were on my mind & I could not shake it. Shit I even dreamed about it.

So in the am when I got to work I did a little more reading about it & called AT&T back to get better clarification on the plans. This time I was happy with what I heard & talked to someone who had their shit together. Basically, all I would have to do is add 20 bucks to my plan & sign a new 2 year contract. The contract was no big deal because I have been an AT&T customer you years. With the package the rep put me up on it would only cost me 79.99 per month, I get 200 text messages per month (I probably only use like 10 per month), unlimited web browsing & I still keep my 1100 peak minutes (YES!!!).

So on my lunch break, I ran my big ass over to the mall so I could hit the Apple store (working across the street from the mall can be a dangerous thing for someone like me). Once I walked through the door, I ran straight to the iPhone & soon a salesman greeted me & asked if he could help. I was like hell yeah, I want an iPhone but I’m torn on what to do, so…. At this pint he proceeded to tell me of the price drop, which I knew about on the 8GB version. He also informed me of new price of the 4GB version, which is only 299.00 while they have them in stock as they are being phased out. This was music to my ears & I quickly said, ring me the fuck up. 10 Minutes later I was on my way back to the office with my iPhone in hand.

Once I sat at my desk, I called Suite Suzy to break the news & too my surprise, she did not go off on me. Later in the evening, I set-up my new iPhone 4GB & fucked around with it trying to figure out the features. After about 2 hours, I was a pro.

I need to mention that another factor that helped influence me to go iPhone was the fact that I saw a “minority” (Asian man) demoing the new iPhone touch. Maybe Apple does care about marketing diversity.

Now that the iPhone is more Negro budget friendly, do you think you will be getting one?

Brothers Where Art Thou

Over the last few weeks I have been engaging in conversations with some sisters out & about in Detroit about the dating scene & pool of potential boos. What I have been hearing is really fucked up & not really anything new if you read relationship blogs like Sugar n Spice, then you know what I am talking about.

Before women used to complain that all of the brothers were either in jail, on drugs, into white woman or gay or all of the above. Today what I am hearing is I cannot find anyone in my socioeconomic status, I cannot find a man with a degree and a job & most fucked up, I cannot find a man who does not live with his boys, cousin or momma.

When I hear the stories of looking for love, all I can do is shake me head and think about root cause of why these young (25-40) educated & seemingly successful women cannot find a man to meet on their level. To figure out where I am coming from read this or this story.

As an outsider looking in I feel bad for these women who want a Black man to spend their life & time with but are frustrated searching & coming up with little or nothing. BROTHERS, WHERE ARE YOU???

One of my recent conversations occurred at an AA Human Resources Professional conference with a woman from my area. This woman is in her early 30's with a MBA & has been single for 3 years has had a hand full of dated in the meantime. She says she meets men but they have not been to college or barley attended & have jobs not careers.

She went on to say that she was set on a Black man & would hold out hope for as long as possible. I then mentioned the census findings on interracial marriage & how Black woman have been hooking up with white men as an alternative then asked her how she felt about it.

She was neutral about it & said that sisters need to get in where they fit in but it would be a last resort for her.

So I had the almost the same conversation with this weekend with another sister who was down because her dating pool was limited at best but she was willing to jump into the interracial dating scene to find an "equal or better". I begged her to hold out for a brother (there has to be someone out there)!

I know there are brothers out there somewhere with the right set of demographics but I also know there are not enough to meet the needs of the YBP (young black professional) woman.

Wait let me take a second to wonder if sister’s expectations are a little too high. Are there skewed views on what success is???

BROTHERS, WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!

I wonder what this lack of "qualified men" is going to mean for the future of Black families. Actually, I don't even want to think about it.

Totally avoiding the interracial drama because I have strong opinions but I respect an individual’s choice(s), ladies what do you think is going on with the lack of available YBP men. YBP men, what are your thoughts & is it hard out there on you???