Stronger as the Days Pass

My post title is dedicated to the man that taught me who to appreciate many forms of music and it is inspired by Earth Wind & Fire’s song "Keep You Head to the Sky” from their "Head to the Sky" album 1973.

“Master told me one day
I’d find peace in every way
But in search for the clue
Wrong things I was bound to do

Keep my head to the sky
For the clouds to tell me why
As I grew, and with strength
Master kept me as I repent
And he said 

Keep your head to the sky
Keep your head to the sky”

Seven years ago today, Suit Suite and I were walking around downtown Toronto celebration our wedding anniversary, like we do most years. As we walking, Toronto was busy with activities that were in preparation for the 2008 Summer Olympic Host City announcement that was to be made later that day.

Around six that same evening the Chinese citizens of the city took over the streets with boisterous excitement because Beijing was announced as the winner of the 2008 summer Olympics. I was disappointed and so were many others but hey, at least we got a fun parade out of it, along with 2008 Toronto gear that is not worth the shit of a fly. Anyway, the day was a good day. Suite Suzy and I also took in the "Lion King "stage play and had a fabulous Thai dinner.

As the night started to wind down, we headed back to the hotel to…

It’s now 3am and the hotel phone is ringing. Like most times when the phone rings that late, I always say, somebody better be dead or in jail calling this late and I'm out of town. I picked up the phone and said helleeer and my mom in a hurried voice says Brian (remember it was 7 years ago), your dad is dead. I say excuse me, did you say dead. She said yes that nigga is dead, and you need to get home.

I dropped the phone and screamed and Suite Suzy tried to figure out was going on.

As hours passed, I tried to get my mind right as Suite Suzy comforted me until the morning. We talked about all the what ifs, what about and why. I pretty much felt like a crying zombie that whole day, it was very rough and to make matter worse the his death underscored my wedding anniversary.

After my dad, RL Howard died my world was forever changed in good and bad ways and I deal with them as best as I can but the process seems never ending.

I told myself this morning not to have a tearful day and to think about his smile, conversations we had and how much I used to hate seeing him get food stuck in his mustache, especially grits.

After I got home today from an anniversary overnight jump off with my boo, I came home fixed a few cocktails (images and recipe coming soon!) I went and laid in the grass to enjoy the summer breeze and the passing clouds. As I laid in this solitary downtime, I felt peace, no sorrow, no hurt no pain. I think I am getting stronger.