Flavorlicious Ghetto Reality

After the “I love New York” Reunion show, I was anxiously awaiting the debut of VH1’s latest peep into Black buffoonery. Yes I am somewhat ashamed to admit it but I am talking about “Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School”.

Things got a little twisted last Sunday night when I realized that I would be missing an episode of “The Apprentice” so I decided to catch Charm School on a rerun. Luckily or maybe not, I was able to watch a few bits and pieces of CS between commercial breaks & what I saw was nothing less than shameful & tacky (why was I surprised?). Peep this, my eyes almost caught on fire when I saw Dara’s (aKa Like Dat) thong way up her ass while she was trying to make it over a rope wall. Some shit should not been seen on cable! Why do big girls, wear thongs anyway???

Fast forward one week and a day (yesterday), I was able to catch episode two in its entirety & a few times I found myself throwing up in my mouth but I think Schatar’s (aKa Hottie) shit & yeast stained panties took that cake! I mean she already looks nasty with a disastrous weave & over grown titties, now the world knows that she is walking around with a surprise in her panties.

As Suite Suzy & I watched, we certainly had some LOL moments, because there were some utterly funny & ridiculous moments that were almost too good to be true. Do these girls have any idea how dumb they look.

The grand prize is only 50,000 but I guess to someone who has jack shit, this will make a serious difference. Personally, making my ass look like America’s biggest loser for 50k just would not do. I guess if I was down & out ghetto then....

At one point during the first episode Mo’Nique (the shows facilitator/mentor) told the girls that while they were on the 1st & 2nd season of “Flavor of Love” that American was laughing at them & not with them. When she said that shit, I almost died because it was so true.

Them chicks (notice, I did not say bitches or hoes) were out of this earth stupid, ghetto, raunchy & gross. Wait, I need to separate one from the pack & that is my girl Courtney (aKa Goldie). She seems to be the only one on CS with common sense & some sort of pride + she is funny as hell & Suite Suzy & I happy to laugh with her & not at her unlike the others.

I have seen every episode of Flavor of Love & I Love New York, it’s doubtful that I will miss another episode of Charm School. Consider this my one ghetto addiction.

Are you watching???
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The Players:
Flavor of Love Rejects: Season 1

• Hottie – Mentally Ill & looks like a damn fool by the head
• Goldie – I have no idea why she is on, she has common sense
• Pumkin – Media hungry ugly white chick
• Rain – Load ass mouth who needs to be slapped on GP
• Serious - Pretty girl but that’s about it
• Smiley - Crybaby with some mild retardation

Flavor of Love Rejects: Season 2

• Bootz – Buck mouthed ghetto weaver wearing hoe (sorry had to go there)
• Buckeey – Buck mouthed ghetto weaver wearing hoe (sorry had to go there again)
• Buckwild – Swear she’s not acting Black but actually offensive
• Krazy – Has grandiose delusions that she can actually sing
• Like Dat – Big girl who needs to learn how to act
• Saaphyri – A straight up hood rat ready to cut a nigga at a moments notice
• Toastee – Drunk porno star who looks like she has fetal alcohol syndrome

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About The Show:
Ever wonder what became of the girls that were so nasty, vicious and rough-around-the-edges that even Flavor Flav didn't want them? What are those girls going to do? Where are those girls going to go? Luckily for them, VH1 had just the place to send them, a little place called - CHARM SCHOOL.

Thirteen of your favorite breakout stars from "Flavor of Love" seasons one and two are back for some heated competition. Living as a group, learning as a group and out for themselves, these former Flavorettes will be rigorously trained in proper etiquette and manners before competing in challenges to determine their poise and grace under pressure.

Leading these ladies down the path of self-improvement is the singularly unique Mo'Nique. Headliner of the films Queens of Comedy & Phat Girls… (read more here)
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Charm School Ghetto Commandments:

1. Check Thyself Before Thou Wreckest Thyself (A fabulous woman is self-aware, and knows that her personality and behavior have an effect on those around her.)
2. Thou Shalt Goeth, Girl (A fabulous woman is a confident and powerful woman.)
3. Thou Shalt Show Some Class (A fabulous woman knows the rules of etiquette and social interaction.)
4. Thou Shalt Work What Thou Art Working With (A fabulous woman always looks her best.)
5. Thou Shalt Spit Mad Game With Style (A fabulous woman knows how to communicate effectively.)
6. Thou Shalt Mind Thy Money (A fabulous woman knows how to make, and keep her own money.)
7. Thou Shalt Payeth It Back (A fabulous woman gives back to the community.)
8. Thou Shalt Represent (A fabulous woman is media savvy.)
9. Unless Thou Can Play, Thou Wilt Be Played (A fabulous woman knows how to play the relationship game.)
10.Thou Shalt Be Fully Fabulous